We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the room spins SO much faster in panama
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize