next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
