Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
