Kiss
Puke
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
