she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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