It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
