I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize