i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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