Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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