Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
