11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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