I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
