She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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