Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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