I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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