Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
