I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
