Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
