Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
