How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
accomplished twins. life is a go
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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