afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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