Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
