Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
