I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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