brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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