You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
