i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
