I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
