I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
