I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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