I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
