you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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