It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
sex in a hospital.. check
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
