Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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