My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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