When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
