Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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