cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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