Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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