just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
