why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
wow bdsm is so cute
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