I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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