She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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