I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize