its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just googled if crying burns calories
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
