oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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