Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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