I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
