Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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