everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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