Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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