I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
