I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
