Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I need moral support for this bender
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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