i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
