BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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