my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
