Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
