we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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