Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
