Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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