so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
