it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
