3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
