Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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