You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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